Stop Eating Babies!

I have another confession: I like to play this game with my husband. It is a game that is best played while he is sleeping. Now before you start jumping to conclusions, let me explain. Sometimes he likes to talk in his sleep. And sometimes (the best times), I can ask him questions and he will answer me. It usually doesn't last very long before he either wakes up or goes completely back to sleep. But on Sunday morning about 4:30, we had an enjoyable conversation. I'm going to get in trouble for sharing this, but it's just too good to keep quiet!

Ok, here are some pieces of our conversation. It started like this:
Nick: "You like salt."
Me: "Yes I do. Do you like salt?"
Nick: "I like pretzels! With cheese sauce."

Me: "What are you going to get me for Christmas?"
Nick: "I don't know, I have to go shopping first."

Me: "Let's have a baby."
Nick: "But I don't know how to."
Me: "Where do babies come from?"
Nick: "Well, they come from the girl's belly. But you don't EAT the baby to get it in your belly. I think you have to have sex, but I don't know."

Please, everyone, stop eating babies. That is not the way to get pregnant!

Then I tried to ask him about sex, but he said: "I can't talk about that with you. It's private."

Nick: "I like my wife. Except when she makes rice and spills it all over."
Me: "If you like your wife, why are you in bed with me?"
Nick: "Who are you? What are you doing in my bed? You're weird. Go away!"
Me: "I'm (insert name of someone he doesn't like). Can I stay?"
Nick: "Hell no! I have a wife. Go away."

Nick: "Sometimes I like to annoy my wife. She's cute when she's kinda mad."
- Now I know why he's always bugging me!